Let it go, let it flow: A therapist’s toolkit for holiday harmony
Psychotherapist Lucy da Silva MSc, MBACP, FDAP of Silva Wellness examines the noticeable shift in people’s emotional states. She also observes changes in their physical states during this time of year.
Five transformative practices to help you nurture yourself.
This therapist’s toolkit will set the tone for a grounded and meaningful 2025.
Lucy comments: “It’s as though the collective energy field tilts, bringing with it colds, fatigue, and a sense of detachment. The festive season can feel like a pendulum swing—from the pressure of endless social obligations to an innate desire to hibernate, slow down, and nourish ourselves with warmth and stillness. Add to that the magnifying glass of social media, where everyone else’s perfect Christmas and sparkling New Year seem to mock our real, messy lives, and it’s no wonder that this season can feel emotionally triggering”.
The end of the year also tends to highlight our perceived shortcomings: unfinished goals, unmet aspirations, and a sense of not being “enough.” With New Year’s Eve, we’re nudged to craft resolutions that promise reinvention, but often they’re born from external expectations rather than genuine self-reflection.
So, let’s flip the script this festive season.
This season, let’s focus on standing in our power. We should not chase perfection or overextend ourselves. Instead, care for our inner needs. Embrace imperfection and walk our own path with clarity and kindness.
Five simple but life-changing practices, rooted in psychotherapy, positive psychology, and spiritual wisdom for your essential holiday toolkit:
1. Set Boundaries.
If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. Whether it’s declining a holiday party or skipping a draining family gathering, give yourself permission to say no. Boundaries are acts of self-love, not selfishness. Try this practical tool. When faced with an invitation or request, pause and ask yourself, Does this nourish me? Or does this deplete me? If it’s the latter, you know your answer. Practising this will not only protect your energy but also reinforce your self-worth.
2. Ditch the ‘New Year, New You’ Resolutions.
Resolutions are often made in the heat of societal pressure and then abandoned by February. Instead, embrace a year-round approach to growth. Set intentions in February, April, or even mid-July! Use tools like journaling or vision boards to revisit and refine your goals as the year progresses. Remember: progress is not linear, and there’s no “right time” to evolve. Take the pressure off and focus on small, sustainable changes that align with your authentic self.
3. Curate Your Inner Circle with Care.
Surround yourself with “good eggs”—people who uplift, inspire, and genuinely care for you. Toxic relationships drain our energy and reinforce patterns of negativity. Start with a simple exercise: write down a list of the five people you interact with most. Next to their names, note whether they give you energy or take it away. Commit to spending more time with those who light you up and less with those who dim your glow.
4. Break Free from Overindulgence Guilt.
This season, there’s often an unspoken rule to eat, drink, and be merry—whether you feel like it or not. But here’s the truth: you’re not obligated to overeat or drink yourself into oblivion just because everyone else is. Practice mindful eating and drinking by checking in with your body. Before you indulge, ask yourself: Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Or am I just trying to escape discomfort? You’ll thank yourself when 2025 arrives without a food coma or emotional hangover.
5. Do the Deep, Inner Work.
Lasting transformation doesn’t come from external accolades or accomplishments; it starts within. Use this reflective season to ask yourself the hard questions: What emotional wounds still linger? What triggers feel too big to manage? Seek out the support of a therapist, coach, or spiritual guide to help you navigate these terrains. Psychoanalytic tools like exploring your unconscious patterns can help. Positive psychology techniques such as gratitude journaling or mindfulness meditation can also bring clarity and healing. True growth happens when we work from the inside out, not the outside in.
Finally, after using this holiday toolkit to create harmony within during this holiday season.
Your 2025 Mantra: “It Doesn’t Matter, Let’s Roll”
Life’s too short to carry the weight of perfection or fear into a new year. Let 2025 be the year you drop the endless need to please, act, or overanalyze. Adopt a “it doesn’t matter” attitude toward things that don’t serve your highest good. Forgot to RSVP? Who cares! Did you skip the gym? Tomorrow’s another day. Didn’t hit every goal? You’re still here, still growing, still enough. Laugh at the chaos, shrug off the critics (including your inner one), and keep rolling ahead with joy and confidence.
Here’s to a season of self-compassion, authenticity, and a little healthy rebellion against the norm. Hope you enjoyed your essential holiday season toolkit.
Cheers to you!
Lucy is the CEO of Silva Wellness. It is based in Farringdon, London EC1. This new treatment centre offers a range of innovative and effective treatments for the mind, body, and spirit.
