Ghosting: why it Hurts and feels so cruel
I was ghosted recently. For anyone who isn’t aware of this term. It means that someone chooses to disappear from your life rather than talk to you about it. In all fairness, it didn’t come out of the blue, as we had got to the final stage in any relationship, where you are trying to make it work. Once you get to this stage, the relationship becomes draining for you both.
However, it doesn’t make it any less cruel or painful. For someone with deep-rooted anxiety, it’s just the worst. Severing ing all communication ties without a conversation is disrespectful to someone who genuinely cares about you. So I have spent the last month, head down at work, but also taking the time to grieve through this process; for the relationship that was and for the relationship which could have been.
It led me to realise I have ghosted you too…
Life does get busy. Work, relationships and general life stuff do get in the way. What I have learned most about this relationship is how we manage our priorities. My blog has taken a back burner when other things in my life took precedence due to my time and energy demands. Big thanks to Jas (and Rachael) for letting me know that I haven’t written in some time. I am going to make sure that I keep writing. It’s so important right now to talk about money and the things that matter to us right now.
Top Tips
It’s been difficult for many of us to face social isolation and loneliness and not be around friends and family over the past couple of years. Shielding really was a struggle! Funnily enough, I wanted to spend time alone after the breakup. It’s important to grieve and process what has happened.
1. Spend quality time with loved ones
The pandemic was a strange period of our lives, where our worlds became very small. Mine, especially as I spent months in my bedroom. We didn’t see our families for long, yet we set up WhatsApp groups with our next-door neighbours. Feeling lonely has a negative impact on mental health. Research suggests that it is associated with an increased risk of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress. Spending time with people is key to minimising our stress levels and positive mental health. I spent Jubilee weekend working but had the most incredible experience. It was the first time I have seen people relaxed and happy to be out again.
2. Grieve for the relationship
It’s always difficult breaking up with someone, whatever the circumstances. Do whatever you need to do to grieve, as it’s a process. I have looked through old photos and conversations and cried… a lot. I have proudly not contacted my ex, but I have had the support of an amazing friend who has checked in on me daily. Thank you!
3. Make plans for the future!
Many of us haven’t been able to make plans for the last couple of years. I am keen to make plans for the future. Whether saving for the summer or just meeting up with friends again. I can’t wait to make plans again! What’s on your summer list?
