You Matter

Have you been ghosting me?

Ghosting: why it hurts and feels so cruel

I was ghosted recently. For anyone who isn’t aware of this term. It means that someone chooses to disappear from your life, rather than talk to you about it. In all fairness, it didn’t come out of the blue, as we had got to the final stage in any relationship, where you are trying to make it work. Once you get to this stage, the relationship becomes draining for you both.

However, it doesn’t make it any less cruel or painful. For someone with deep-rooted anxiety, it’s just the worst. To sever all ties of communication, without having a conversation, is disrespectful to someone who genuinely cares about you. So I have spent the last month, head down at work, but also taking the time to grieve through this process; for the relationship that was and for the relationship which could have been.

It led me to realise I have ghosted you too…

Life does get busy. Work, relationships and general life stuff do get in the way. What I have learned most about this relationship is how we manage our priorities. My blog has taken a back burner when other things in my life took precedence due to the demands on my time and energy. Big thanks to Jas (and Rachael) for letting me know that I haven’t written in some time. I am going to make sure that I keep writing. It’s so important right now to talk about money and the things that matter to us right now.

Top Tips Header

Top Tips

It’s been difficult for many of us to face social isolation, loneliness and not be around friends and family over the past couple of years. Shielding really was a struggle! Funnily enough, I have wanted to spend time by myself after the break up. Its important to grieve and process what has happpened.

1. Spend quality time with loved ones

The pandemic was a strange period of our lives, where our worlds became very small. Mine especially as I spent months in my bedroom. We didn’t see our families for a long time yet set up WhatsApp groups with our next-door neighbours. Feeling lonely has a negative impact on mental health. Research suggests that it is associated with an increased risk of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress. Spending time with people is so key to minimising our stress levels, and for positive mental health. I spent Jubilee weekend working, but had the most incredible experience. It was the first time I have seen people relaxed and happy to be out, out again.

2. Grieve for the relationship

It’s always difficult breaking up with someone, whatever the circumstances. Do whatever you need to do to grieve as it’s a process. I have looked through old photos, conversations, and cried…alot. I have very proudly not contacted my ex, but have had the support of an amazing friend who has checked in on me every day. Thank you!

3. Make plans for the future!

Many of us haven’t been able to make plans for the last couple of years. I am keen to make plans for the future. Whether saving for the summer or just meeting up with friends again. I can’t wait to make plans again! Whats on your summer list?