“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
I love this quote by Oscar Wilde. Often we associate self-love with doing something nice for ourselves, like running a relaxing bath, getting a spa treatment or buying ourselves a gift. However true self-love is deeper than that. It means finding peace within ourselves. Accepting and celebrating who we are—our authentic selves.
This Valentine’s Day I will be single. I have felt myself thinking back to this time last year, when I was with my partner. We had very different ideas and expectations for Valentine’s Day, which made me realise at the time how different we valued the relationship (or that’s what I thought). I bought steaks with butter hearts and a bottle of cava (of course), and wanted to spend time with my partner. However, he was late from work, and seemed very nonplussed about the effort I had made and probably the mood I was in having to wait hours for him to turn up. We all have things going on in our lives and demands on our time, but when you always feel like you don’t matter or that your partner isn’t fully choosing you. It can also magnify any problems in a relationship.
We put so much pressure on our relationships sometimes. Valentine’s Day is often when we can put unfair expectations on our relationships, due to the pressure of the day.
Valentine’s Day can often feel symbolic of what’s going on in your relationship. Try not to analyse your partner’s behaviour, and try and relax and enjoy the day!
Sometimes your love languages are just different, so it’s important to communicate with one another. Valentine’s should be a happy day, but it can lead to arguing and falling out. How often have you been in a restaurant with couples on Valentine’s who have decided to go out for an expensive meal but end up either on their phones not being present or arguing?
Whether you are single or with a special someone. Enjoy Valentine’s Day! Whether you are celebrating the love for yourself or with someone else.
Enjoy Valentine’s Day without putting pressure on your relationship.
Money is often a big source of arguments. With so many demands on our money right now, especially after Christmas and with so many bills on the rise. Why not agree upfront on how you want to spend the day? Agree not to buy presents if money is tight, and have fun together instead. There are so many free ways to have fun. You don’t need to buy expensive things to show someone how much you love them.
We must fall in love with ourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.
Mae West
Date Yourself Instead
This has to be my new favourite podcast by Lyss Boss. Date Yourself Instead is a podcast that inspires you to become the best version of yourself. After a breakup, her career changed, and she decided to date herself instead! I I am spending this year doing all of the things I wanted to do with my partner but couldn’t. I intend to go on holiday, take myself on nice dates and do all of the things he wouldn’t do with me!
In 2021, social media personality Lyss started a self-love series on TikTok which amassed over 100+ million views on her videos and counting. In this podcast, she gets candid about her relationship experiences, and touches on other topics including business, beauty, wellness, and so much more.
Welcome to the #dateyourselfinstead movement.
You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.
Maya Angelou
Top Tips:
1. Try not to put pressure on your relationship
Valentine’s Day can often be a big source of pressure on relationships. I have been guilty of doing this myself at times. My love language is spending quality time with someone. Work out what will make you both happy for the day.
2. Don’t spend more than you can afford
Do not put pressure on your finances by buying expensive gifts or feeling compelled to do things you can’t afford because it’s Valentine’s Day. Communicate with your partner and agree on limits. Check out my Wowchers deals page if you are stuck for some last-minute ideas.
3. Date Yourself Instead
If you are single, do not worry. Do not spend Valentine’s Day looking back through old photos of you and your ex. For most years one of my best friends and I used to take each other out on dates for Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend at the time was working in bars, so we didn’t go out on dates. Instead my friend and I bought each other a glass of champagne and went for a meal or to the cinema! Date yourself instead and do something nice for yourself!
